Heaven can wait
by Kim3
Summary: Buffy stands outside the gates of heaven... But should she really be there. Sequel to * I want my life to be with you*
1. Default Chapter

TITLE: Heaven can wait.   
Sequel to * I want my life to be with you*   
AUTHOR: Kim   
E-MAIL: kim.harmel@ntlworld.com.   
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, I don't want them, they make me cry   
too much. Joss and his people do the owning thing  
  
SPOILERS: Everything up to the end of S4/S1   
TIMELINE: Set in the distant future   
FEEDBACK: Please.   
RATING: PG   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Set right after * I want my life to be with you* After a dreadful car crash, Buffy is called to heaven. You really should read the first story. But if not, Angel's human and Buffy's dead.   
  
HEAVEN CAN WAIT....  
Sequel to *I want my life to be with you.*  
  
Part one.  
  
Buffy Summers felt as if she was flying. A soft warm glow wrapped her   
protectively in its embrace and drew her essence up into its light. She   
watched in wonder as the scene below gradually faded from view. There was no longer any pain, no fear and strangely no regret as her soul left its mortal body far behind. Buffy was free. As her sprit soared higher she realised for the first time in her short chaotic life she was truly free.  
  
And that's when it hit her. **Angel.**  
  
****  
  
Buffy found herself at the bottom of what seemed like a never-ending   
staircase. She raised her eyes and watched in awe at how the stairs rose and then disappeared into a haze of fluffy golden clouds. Everything seemed to be the same colour here; everything was bathed in a warm golden glow. It had to be the most beautiful place Buffy had ever seen. She hesitantly lifted her small foot and placed it on the bottom step, without another thought she moved her body forward and started to ascend.  
  
The stairway seemed to stretch up into infinity. As it silently rose higher Buffy was filled with a complete sense of tranquillity. No longer was she the slayer, a daughter, a wife, or a potential mother. She was simply a soul being called home.  
  
On reaching the summit the clouds seemed to part on their own accord, Buffy took a long deep breath before walking towards the famous pearly gates.  
  
The magnificent ornamental gateway seemed to sparkle in the soft celestial light; a gentle mist swirled around the base twisting its coolness around Buffy's ankles. Buffy reached out timidly and rested her hand against the structure. She had expected to feel cool metal beneath her fingertips but the gate was warm, it almost felt alive. It was just like touching a live cable; it almost hummed with cosmic energy.  
  
Buffy reached up on her tiptoes and peered through the bars of the gate, hoping to get a clearer picture of where she was. All she could make out was a plain white desk immediately situated behind the gate and then more swirling clouds. Failing to find a handle, Buffy tried to push the gate open.  
  
Her soft chuckle of disbelief rippled through the air.  
  
" It's locked?" Buffy shook the gates slightly harder but they still   
wouldn't move. Not knowing what else to do, the ex slayer slid down and sat cross-legged on the floor.  
  
** I'll just wait here until I wake up** she told herself as she watched   
the top step on the stairway continue to roll over and disappear into the mist.  
  
So lost in the hypnotising motion of the stairs the sound of a voice   
startled her  
  
" Hello there, I'm so sorry, I wasn't expecting a newcomer. I hope you   
haven't been waiting too long"  
  
Buffy jumped to her feet and span around.  
  
A smart middle aged man in a dark suit smiled at her from the other side of the gates. They slowly parted and after a moments hesitation Buffy walked forward.  
  
" Right, and who do we have here?" he asked opening a large book in front of him. When he heard no rely he looked up and smiled at the pretty young woman with waist length blonde hair. Understanding that she was still slightly disorientated he asked the question again.  
  
" And your name was?"  
  
** Name was? okay**  
  
" Buffy Anne Summers" Buffy spoke quietly trying to find her maiden name on the large page. It seemed strange leaving off the O'Connelly part that she had inherited on marrying Angel. But the guy had definitely stated *was* and not *is*  
  
" Let's see. Saunders, Stevens, Summers. There we are, Betty Anne Summers age ninety-three from Kentucky. " He raised his eyes slowly from the page and studied the petite girl in front of him again.  
  
" You don't look ninety three."  
  
"Maybe that's because I'm not Betty Anne Summers, I'm Buffy, that's   
B_U_F_F_Y."  
  
Buffy slowly folded her arms across her chest and watched as the man scanned the list of names again, as he neared the bottom of the list he shook his head.  
  
" I'm sorry but you're not on my list, are you sure you're supposed to be here?  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes and struggled to remain calm, the tranquillity she   
had been feeling earlier was beginning to fade.  
  
" I didn't really have much say in the matter; one moment I'm driving   
through the rain and the next, this idiot..... Damn my jeep was in a mess. Did anybody get that guys number? " Tranquillity was now totally gone as memories of the accident returned.  
  
" If I get my hands on the son of a b...." Buffy took a calming breath and realised that raving about the accident was a waste of energy, what was done was done.  
  
" Hey! Look. If it's all the same to you I'm quiet happy to go back home, I'll leave you to sort out the confusion. Say hi to Betty for me when she gets here" Buffy turned on her heal and started towards the golden stairway   
.  
  
" Just think, it will save you all that trouble calling a new slayer."  
  
" Slayer! Why didn't you say that in the first place?"  
  
Buffy turned back.  
  
" You didn't ask" she replied suspiciously.  
  
The smartly dressed man appeared slightly flustered.  
  
" It makes perfect sense now; of course you wouldn't be on this list. A   
slayer is.. Well you would be on the VIP list that's for sure.. A slayer,   
I'm so honoured." He blushed furiously then continued, holding out his   
hand.  
  
"I'm the Archangel Jordan, just call me Jordan" he smiled and waited for the girl to accept his gesture.  
  
Buffy looked at the out stretched hand and reluctantly shook it.  
  
Jordan dipped out of sight only to reappear with a small jewel encrusted book. The initials VIP sparkled on the front cover. Jordan carefully opened the book at the most resent entry  
  
" I'm so sorry I didn't recognise you, we haven't had a slayer for quiet a   
while now. I really should have been better prepared for such an important arrival."  
The archangel silently promised that somebody would be taken to task over such sloppy preparations. A slayer should have received an escort at the very least.  
  
Buffy seemed lost in thought for a moment.  
  
" Kendra" her expression changed, a sudden sadness swept over Buffy's heart at the memory of her sister slayer. They hadn't known each other very long, but given the chance Buffy knew they could have been good friends. Sadly for Kendra there was never enough time, Drusilla has seen to that.  
  
" Yes Kendra. Lovely girl, I see her quiet often you know." Jordan's voice cut into Buffy's reverie.  
  
"Right, here we are. Slayer due in. Mmm, I see...That's why I didn't know, you're a week early"  
  
" Like I said I didn't have much say in the matter" Buffy sighed realising she wouldn't be going home after all.  
  
Jordan turned the book and held out a small quill pen.  
  
" Never mind, I guess we better get you signed in. Once you're settled in to your accommodation there's a lot of people who will want to talk to you, Faith." He indicated to the line he wished the ex slayer to sign.  
  
The sound of the familiar name caused Buffy to look up.  
  
" Okay, rewind there. I'm Buffy remember, B-u-f...Oh never mind. I'm not   
Betty and I'm certainly not Faith"  
  
" Well that's not what's written here, It's very clear. One Vampire slayer. Name of Faith. Time of death, July twenty third at 8pm. Like I said you're one week early.  
  
" And like I said, I'm not Faith. Somebody around here has made a big mistake" Buffy's eyes blazed as she the considered the ramifications.  
  
" That's impossible we don't make mistakes here. This is heaven not the tax office" Jordan looked horrified that the girl could even suggest such a thing.  
  
" Why my dear girl, there hasn't been a mistake here for over one thousand years"  
  
Buffy quirked her eyebrow.  
  
** So there had been at least one mistake in the past** she thought   
happily.  
  
" When you people make mistakes you sure make them big. I want to speak to whoever's in charge of this place, now" Buffy slammed her hand down on the desk to prove she meant business. The injustice of having her soul called too early had broken the earlier peace she had experienced and as far as she was concerned she had wasted enough precious time in this place. Buffy wanted to get back to her own beloved Angel as soon as possible.  
  
Archangel Jordan picked up a small golden telephone, much to Buffy's amusement. The thought of telephones in heaven just felt ridiculous. But then again this whole experience was becoming stranger by the minute.  
  
At that point a voice spoke out on the other end of the line. Jordan looked at the annoyed girl and then spoke quietly into the telephone  
  
" I'd like to speak to Saint Peter please, we seem to have a slight problem at the front desk"  
  
TBC...  
  
  



	2. part 2

  
Part 2   
  
"I'm most dreadfully sorry to disturb you sir, it seems we have the wrong vampire slayer. This young woman informs me her name is Buffy, not the expected Faith" Archangel Jordan looked highly embarrassed on greeting his superior. The elderly man carefully opened the book and studied it, his forehead creasing in concentration.  
  
" Well, I think you may be right. There seems to be a slight   
misunderstanding, Miss Summers" The white haired man dressed in long flowing robes spoke in a soft velvet voice. Saint Peter closed the book and moved away from the desk.  
  
Buffy noticed that the man had a glow about him that shimmered as he moved, she couldn't help being slightly awed by the presence of such a pure hearted soul.  
  
" Actually, for the record my full name is Buffy Anne Summers-O'Conelly. I'm married" Buffy's eyes saddened as her tongue caressed Angel's name.  
  
" My own Angel" she whispered missing him desperately. Buffy hugged her arms around her small body for comfort. She then noticed Saint Peter and Archangel Jordan glancing towards each other.  
  
" Well that settles it; the fact that you are missing your loved one so severely proves your calling is too early. When a soul is called home it is granted the peace of acceptance. In other words, you do not grieve your lost life, you accept it as passed and wait for your loved ones to follow. There should be no regret on your part only a complete feeling of tranquillity." Saint Peter tried to explain the rules of heaven.  
  
All human baggage was left behind, pain, suffering, regret and grief were left on earth leaving the soul free to remember it's past life with nothing but happy memories. There were no unhappy souls in heaven.  
  
" Well the tranquillity lasted about five minuets and as far as no   
regret.... Oh no, my baby" Buffy cried placing her hand lightly over her stomach.  
  
" Please do not distress yourself, the soul of your unborn child is perfectly safe. Once this mistake has been rectified things will be as they were meant to be."  
  
" If you were expecting Faith then why am I here?" Buffy felt slightly calmer knowing that her unborn child was safe.  
  
" Honest answer, we made a mistake. It's as simple as that"  
  
Buffy cast a quick glance towards Archangel Jordan; her eyes couldn't resist a quick *I told you so. * Looking back towards Saint Peter her face softened  
  
"Okay, I guess mistakes happen. Just take me back home and we'll forget all about it, no harm done. Well except for my jeep and I seriously doubt your insurance will cover it. " She teased, feeling a load lifted off her shoulders. The mistake was theirs not hers and as long as she was placed back in the arms of her lover she could afford to joke.  
  
Saint Peter nodded  
  
" There shouldn't be any problems doing that, Jordan here will escort you safely back to Earth and reunite you with your body. Goodbye Buffy, we shouldn't meet again for many years"  
  
In a flash of bright light Buffy found herself back in Sunnydale.  
  
" Wow! Beats taking the stairs anyday" she smiled relieved to have her feet planted firmly on solid ground.  
  
Buffy looked around and noticed that she hadn't been returned to the scene of the accident, although the place did looked vaguely familiar. In the distance she noticed a small group gathered in somber mood, moving closer, Buffy started recognising some of the faces.  
  
It was a bright sunny day, her family and friends had gathered on a small hillside over looking the sea. Buffy caught sight of Xander holding a distraught Willow in his arms gently stroking her hair. Her mother, father, Wesley and Cordelia all stood quietly as Giles quoted from a small book of poetry. Her eyes moved slightly to the left and there she saw Angel, standing tall and detached from the rest of the group. His face was a picture of total misery, dark rings framed his once beautiful brown eyes as he looked on, deep in despair.  
  
"Angel?" Buffy ran towards her husband  
  
" Buffy, until you're back inside your body you have the same presence as a ghost. Nobody here can see or hear you" Jordan explained as to why Angel failed to look up.  
  
Buffy stopped right in front of the man she had loved longer then she could remember. The sight of this beautiful man kissed in sunlight always made her heart skip. Buffy could still feel that quickening even though she no longer possessed a physical heart.  
  
Angel lifted his head and looked straight through her.  
  
" I love Buffy, you always held my soul in the palm your hand" Angel reached out his own hand and shook the contents of a small silver urn. A light ash spilled from the container and fluttered in the air, it swirled   
for a moment before being caught up in the warm sea breeze and carried away.  
  
" Goodbye, Buffy. I'll love you forever" he whispered to the breeze as the ash danced away on the horizon. Angel closed his eyes as a single tear slipped down his cheek.  
  
Wesley walked slowly towards his friend and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder.  
  
" Everybody is leaving now, Angel. Come on, it's time to go"  
  
Angel looked down at the now empty canister in his hands; he still couldn't believe something so small had held such a large part of his life. A part of his life that was now gone forever.  
  
"Not yet, I want to be alone with her one last time" Angel didn't turn around, he continued to watch the gentle waves lap at the shoreline and his heart broke beyond repair. Clinging to the empty urn like a drowning man would cling to a raft, Angel felt his legs sway with the loss. He fought with what little strength he had left to hold on to his dignity, today was Buffy's day, tomorrow when the reality of it all sank in, he would allow himself to sink into the darkness of despair.  
  
  
  
"Will you be all right?" Wesley asked reluctant to walk away. He could feel the heartbreaking sadness seep through Angel's body and it worried him terribly, this was so much more then grief. Wesley worried that a part of Angel's soul had died that day too.  
  
" Honestly, I doubt if I'll ever be alright again. But you don't have to worry about me waiting for the sun to rise. I'll live, I've got no other option now" Angel looked out towards the sea again, straining his eyes for just a glimpse of something, anything that would tell him Buffy was somewhere safe, somewhere better. Little did he know that the love of his life was standing a few feet away from him, in as much pain as he was.  
  
" Where ever you are, know that someday, somehow I'll find you" Angel spoke so softly even Wesley missed his pledge.  
  
Buffy watched Wesley turn and leave and a look of absolute horror crossed her face. She then turned towards the archangel, her soul desperate for answers.  
  
" Oh dear, it seems you've been cremated" he looked increasingly uncomfortable. He had heard the relatives talking in the background that there had been a quick cremation to prevent the possibility of something dark tampering with the body. The body of a dead slayer was an easy target for demons.  
  
" This is so unexpected, we couldn't have possibly known it would happen so quickly. Heaven time moves so much slower then earth time" he shuffled nervously from one foot to the other. Nobody had seen the cremation coming, this mistake was just multiplying out of all proportion.  
  
" AND????" Buffy demanded, that non-physical heart of hers was now well and truly stuck in her throat.  
  
" Your body has gone, it's been burned into ash, we can't put you back inside. I'm sorry Buffy, but it's no longer possible"  
  
Buffy looked back towards her heartbroken husband and the impact hit her like a fast moving train. She collapsed onto her knees as a soul-destroying scream started in her toes and worked its way up.  
  
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.  
  
*****  
  
" Please try not to panic"  
  
" Panic! My husbands just tipped my ashes into the deep blue sea and your only comment is try not to panic" Buffy continued to paced back and forth, no mater how hard she tried she just couldn't get her head around this new change of events.  
  
Jordan had transferred her straight back to heaven for further evaluation. Saint Peter, who had been informed of the development was waiting for them on arrival.  
  
" I'm afraid Jordan was correct, once a body has been cremated there is no possibility of reuniting you."  
  
Buffy's eyes widened in horror, one moment they were promising her that everything was going to be all right and now...  
  
" Apart from staying here there are only two roads open to us, the first is reincarnation"  
  
Buffy's eyes lit up, she had read about reincarnation in high school. It sounded promising.  
  
" Okay, I've heard about that, you give me a brand new body" Buffy considered that option carefully.  
  
" Your friend Cordelia is about to become pregnant in the next few months, we could transfer your soul into her new baby, Of course it would mean you coming back as her daughter"  
  
" Cordy would be my new mother, oh please." Buffy rolled her eyes "Wait! I've just thought of something, if I'm reborn it will take me twenty years to grow up and become a woman again, Angel will be in his fifties and there's still no guarantees that he would fall in love me, especially if I'm his best friends daughter. No, no, no that is a bad choice." Buffy shuddered at the thought and quickly dismisses it.  
  
"Well that only leaves option number two, we put you into a body that's no longer needed"  
  
" How can anybody no longer need their..Oh ewwwww! That's gross" Buffy's nose wrinkled in disgust.  
  
" As long as the body hasn't been discovered we just wait until the soul makes it's final destination and then we drop you in. The body will be a completely empty shell, no memories, no feeling. Your essence will fill it and take it over so technically it becomes you."  
  
"That sounds strangely familiar in a *let's create a vampire* kinda way" Buffy frowned  
  
" The difference being there are no demons involved here, only the body of a pure soul will be offered" Saint Peter watched the small girl digest the offer.  
  
Buffy was wigging out at the prospect of having somebody else's body. Body swapping had been forced on her once before and it wasn't something she recommended. But what other choice did she have, if she was ever going to return to Angel she had some hard decisions to make.  
  
1. She could stay here. 2. She could become the new Cordelia Chase, mark two. Or 3. Three was still something she would have to get her head around. But at least with number three she could be back on earth with Angel now, rather then in twenty years.  
  
Reluctantly she agreed to the third option. Buffy was then shown an assortment of candidates; time after time she refused the body. Too fat, too tall, too old, too young. Jordan patiently ticked the rejected names off their list and moved on. Buffy knew she was being picky but she had an ulterior motive. In her heart she knew she wasn't just choosing the body she would spend the rest of her natural life in. No, she was trying to find a face that Angel could possibly fall in love with. A stream of beautiful women passed by her but Buffy wasn't happy with any of them. They returned to heaven defeated.  
  
" There will be another list available tomorrow" Jordan tried to sound hopeful but secretly doubted Buffy would ever be satisfied with second best.  
  
" Buffy, I've been waiting for you, I have the best news" Saint Peter smiled as Buffy reappeared in front of him.  
  
" I have found you the perfect body, you're going home"  
  
TBC  
  
  



	3. part 3

Part 3  
  
"You can't be serious" Buffy shook her head in total disbelief.  
  
" FAITH!...You want to put me inside the body of Faith.... Again!" She shuddered at the ridiculous suggestion.  
  
" NO WAY. Not in a million years, not if it's the last body on the face of the earth." She couldn't believe they could be so insensitive. Buffy was already having serious reservations about the whole body swapping idea, but the thought of becoming somebody she already knew? Yuck. That was way beyond gross.  
  
" I don't understand your problem; it's the perfect body. This girl is at her physical peak, everything you specified. What's more, she's a vampire slayer just like you" Jordan couldn't understand why Buffy had rebelled so violently against the idea. When Saint Peter had suggested the plan it seemed the perfect solution to all their problems.  
  
It would also solve the problem of having to call another slayer,   
especially as the next girl in line was only three years old.  
  
" Saint Peter himself recommended this swap, you really shouldn't dismiss it so out of hand."  
  
" I can't just take Faith's body" Buffy walked towards her sister slayer, looking carefully at the dark-haired girl who had once caused her so much pain. Faith lay perfectly still on her prison cot, her eyes closed in a troubled sleep. Her appearance had changed greatly over the years she had spent in prison; the once strikingly beautiful girl had mellowed into an almost plain looking woman, slowly forgotten by the outside world.  
  
Buffy had made a fragile peace with the girl shortly after she and Angel had reunited, Angel had already taken Faith's rehabilitation to heart and he was the one person who refused to give up on her. He visited the troubled slayer every month pushing her towards her own redemption, and to a great extent he was succeeding. Buffy had kept away from these visits knowing that, although the hatred between the two of them had passed, a friendship was never likely to happen.  
  
  
" You seem to have forgotten that Faith is still destined to die it was always going to be this day. " The archangel spoke quietly trying to be as sensitive as possible.  
  
" The date here is July 23rd It's 7.50pm. Faith has exactly ten minutes and twenty-three seconds left to live in this life, her calling was written long ago. Your date of birth and the date of your death are all that's really certain in the life of your soul. How you live the time in-between is up to you"  
  
Buffy watched as Faith stirred, her face contort with pain.  
  
"What's the matter with her?" she asked slowly moving closer. Buffy couldn't help feeling concerned for Faith's welfare, she hated seeing anybody suffer.  
  
" She was involved in a fight an hour ago in the recreation yard, It wasn't her fault and she didn't retaliate. This girl has changed so much in the last few years and your husband played a large part in saving her soul. Because of Angel's help, Faith will be welcomed home with open arms, all indiscretions forgiven and forgotten"  
  
Buffy watched as the dark haired slayer doubled over in agony.  
  
"Faith was attacked and received massive internal injuries, she refused to call for help. She's dying Buffy and she knows it."  
  
" Faith. Faith! " Buffy shouted trying to awaken the fading girl. Faith raised her heavy eyelids and for a moment Buffy swore she could be seen. But after a moment, Faith's eyes dropped again in resignation.  
  
Buffy ran over to the cell door and shouted as loud as she could for help. When nobody came she tried again to wake Faith herself.  
  
" Six minutes, Buffy" Jordan's voice reminded her of the painful choice she was being forced to make. Time was slipping by and they only had until the girl's spirit left her body and the few minutes before her death was discovered. If the transference wasn't made then, it couldn't be made at all.  
  
  
" Faith, you awake in there? You have a visitor" an outside voice broke into the room startling Buffy.  
  
" Not interested" Faith murmured without opening her eyes.  
  
" Suit yourself girlie, I'll tell Mr. O'Connelly to leave then " the guard turned and started to walk away.  
  
" No wait"  
  
Faith tried to sit up; she clutched her side in agony but continued to get to her feet.  
  
"Angel" Buffy gasped at the same time and her eyes lit up at the prospect of seeing her husband again.  
  
" Tell him I'll be there, just give me a second" Faith staggered towards the door of her cell, her breathing becoming rapid as a new wave of pain washed over her. It was now excruciating.  
  
" One minute and three seconds, Buffy. What's it going to be?" Jordan asked again as Faith dropped to the floor and whimpered in pain. Buffy's eyes brimmed with tears for her sister slayer; she fell to her knees whispering gentle words of comfort.  
  
" I can't do this" Buffy couldn't take advantage of Faith's misfortune, it was just too wrong.  
  
" Twenty three seconds" Jordan continued with the countdown.  
  
Buffy looked up, her eyes pleading for understanding. Angel was only a few feet away and yet she couldn't bring herself to utter her agreement.  
  
" Five, four, three, two." The countdown continued  
  
Buffy watched as a shaft of bright light dropped into Faith's prison cell, the same light that had been present at her own death. She watched in wonder as the spirit of the dead slayer lifted up out of its body and pulled itself free.  
  
" Hi B, thought it was you. When did you bite the bullet?" Faith grinned, a large smile covering her now beautiful face.  
  
The two spirits embraced, clinging to each other in death as they should have done in life.  
  
" It's time to go, Faith." Jordan nodded towards the light. Faith looked up and smiled again.  
  
" What's it like? Is it pretty where I'm going?" the dark girl seemed to hesitate.  
  
Buffy squeezed her arm softly and smiled back.  
  
" It's very beautiful. You're gonna be just fine"  
  
Faith drew comfort from Buffy's reassurance and smiled one last time.  
  
" Maybe....maybe we can start all over again?" Faith asked unexpectedly as their eyes locked  
  
" I'd like that" Buffy nodded, for all the pain that had come out of the last few days, Buffy realised that this meeting was a blessing. In other circumstances, they would never have had this chance to say goodbye. Fate had allowed the two slayers the opportunity to make a new peace and one day they would meet again as real friends.  
  
The light then started to pull Faith into its presence.  
  
"Hey! Five by five. See ya later, B." Faith moved up into its glow and vanished.  
  
" Five by five, Faith." Buffy softly whispered back.  
  
The mood was then broken by the sound of shouting coming from outside of the cell.  
  
" Faith? Faith, are you all right in there? I'm unlocking the door" the prison guard's voice sounded slightly worried.  
  
" Buffy?" Jordan looked at the girl and waited, there was simply no more time left  
  
The key turned in the lock and the door started to open. Buffy's frightened eyes looked towards the door and then at what she knew was the empty shell that had once carried the essence of Faith.  
  
" Do it"  
  
*****  
  
Buffy felt really strange, for the first time in what seemed like a   
lifetime she felt... solid. It wasn't her body but it felt good being alive again. After being taken from Faith's cell she was led along a long corridor. It was only now that Buffy realised how depressing this place was. On reaching the visitors room she hesitated, she knew that on the other side of that door was her soul mate. Would he know her? Would he see her through Faith's eyes? A million questions flowed through her head as she pushed open the door and walked in.  
  
The sight of Angel took her breath away, he looked dreadful. A week's growth of stubble told Buffy that he'd stopped shaving. His once glorious head of spiky hair was now flat and lifeless and when he finally raised his head to look at her his beautiful chocolate eyes were hollow.  
  
" Hello, Faith. I've got some bad news to tell you and I thought I'd better come in person" Angel started to speak, his eyes never quite making contact. As he proceeded to tell the girl on the other side of the glass partition about the accident, Buffy listened in silence. Angel appeared so distant; he held his hands in his lap continually twisting his wedding ring as he struggled to retell the horror of the last week.  
  
"We had her body cremated and I scattered her ashes out to sea. I guess she's travelling the globe now, as free as a bird and without a care in the world."  
  
On the other side of the glass, Buffy's new heart was breaking at her lover's pain, she longed to tell him who she now was, but knew realistically that nobody would believe her yet. It would take time and a lot of hard work, if only Angel would really look at her.  
  
Angel continued to speak, still their eyes never met. Buffy silently pleaded with him to look up, if only he really looked into Faith's eyes she knew he would see her, the real her. Angel had once told her years ago that the first time he had set eyes on her he had fallen in love with her, because he could see her heart. Buffy knew that if that was really true, he couldn't fail to miss her soul shining out of Faith's eyes.  
  
When Angel eventually did look up Buffy shivered. The light that had always shone in his beautiful eyes was gone, simply gone. Even in the worst days of their relationship, when they were continually breaking each other's hearts, that light that she loved had still shone. But the man sitting in front of her now was an empty shell. It seemed as if Angel had just given up.  
  
" Angel, please. I know it's too soon to be saying this but you will find somebody new one day. Somebody will ease the pain you're feeling now" Buffy felt slightly uneasy hearing Faith's voice speak her words.  
  
Angel slowly shook his head  
  
" I know you mean well Faith, but there's not another woman on this earth that can take away this pain. I know I'll never love like that again" Angel replied simply stating the truth as he saw it.  
  
Leaning forward, Buffy raised her hand and rested it against the glass partition  
  
" You will, just wait and see. Not today and not next week but someday. Don't close your mind to the possibility."  
  
" Not for me, in over two hundred and fifty years there was only one girl that touched my soul. Not good odds" Angel tried to smile but it just hurt too much.  
  
Buffy watched Angel's body language and became increasingly alarmed. He seemed to have no life left in him at all. After just one short week he no longer resembled the man she had loved all those years, this broken man wearing her husbands face was a stranger.  
  
" What will you do?" Buffy was desperately afraid for his safety. Angel had worked so hard for his humanity and now it seemed this blessing had become a curse.  
  
He lifted weary eyes and for a moment Buffy was sure he would see her, but she couldn't have been more wrong. Angel was blind, blinded by grief and bitterness and, in that state, he would never see anybody.  
  
" Don't worry about me, I'll live today and then I'll live tomorrow. I guess I'll just carry on until there are no more tomorrows left." Angel suddenly looked very tired  
  
" Goodbye, Faith." the words were clear and very final. He rose from his chair and without a backward glance he walked away.  
  
Buffy stood up so quickly she knocked her chair flying. Banging her hands against the glass screen she called out his name over and over, but Angel never looked back.  
  
She was then lead away from the visitor's room still crying Angel's name. Once back in Faith's cell the Archangel reappeared before her.  
  
" You have to get me out of here; this body is no good if it's locked up in a cell twenty-four hours a day. Why didn't you think of that? I'll never be able to reach Angel from here. How on earth can I help him?"  
  
Buffy was so distressed by the state of her husband she started   
hyperventilating. Fighting for breath she continued to scream  
  
" GET ME OUT OF HERE, GET ME OUT OF HERE, GET ME."  
  
*****  
  
" Buffy, Buffy. Calm down, you only had to ask once"  
  
Buffy found herself back in heaven, no longer wearing Faith's body.  
  
" I can't believe I let you talk me in to that, I would have been in that cell for the rest of my life. Have you seen the state of my husband? This is killing him" Buffy stormed off in pure rage.  
  
" Where are you going? "Jordan's voice called after the angry young woman.  
  
Buffy stopped and, looking back, she surveyed her surroundings. One set of pearly gates. One stairway only going up and an eternity of swirling clouds.  
  
" Where am I going?" she asked glaring bitterly at the archangel " I'm going nowhere, I'm going nowhere fast" she replied and walked into the clouds.  
  
TBC...   
  
  
  



	4. Part 4

Part 4  
  
Buffy lay her head down amongst the cool swirling clouds. She knew,   
technically, that she didn't need to sleep but she was seeking to escape rather than rest. Buffy closed her eyes and without knowing it, she was rewarded with a gift from Saint Peter.  
  
Angel stood surrounded by a sea of billowing clouds, dressed in a simple white shirt and black pants. His hair was once again back to its full spiky glory and his dark chocolate eyes shone with light.  
  
Buffy moved slowly toward her love, expecting him to disappear at any moment.  
  
" Is this my dream or yours?" she asked softly smiling up at his beautiful face.  
  
Gazing back into her hazel eyes, Angel cupped Buffy's face in his hands and softly stroked her cheek with his thumb.  
  
" It must be mine. You're dead, Buffy. The dead don't dream" Angel   
continued to stroke her skin.  
  
" When I'm with you I don't feel dead" Buffy's eyes brimmed with tears.   
Being held in this man's arms was all she had ever wanted.  
  
** Was it really too much to ask for ?** her soul cried out at the   
injustice.  
  
" Why did you leave me?" There was no anger in Angel's voice only   
confusion.  
  
" It was a mistake, I couldn't stop them" she replied truthfully.  
  
" I've lost everything" the pain reflected in Angel's eyes at that moment   
made Buffy shiver.  
  
"No, Angel. You only lost a little direction" she tried desperately to   
reassure her lover that things were not as bleak as they appeared.  
  
"Buffy, you were always my direction. Can I stay here? It feels so safe"   
Angel lowered his head and kissed her hair, then he dropped to her neck, his soft mouth pulled at her skin. Buffy closed her eyes and sighed at the feeling of his warm lips on her flesh.  
  
**Flesh that she no longer possessed** her soul bitterly reminded her that this was only a dream.  
  
" No, Angel. You must go back, you don't belong here"  
  
" I belong with you. I just want you back, you're all I ever wanted" Angel   
slipped his hands down her arms  
  
" I feel the same" Buffy leaned her head back against his hard chest and felt his heart beat.  
  
" It's never over, Angel. We'll be together again somewhere, someday"  
  
" I want to find you so much. Show me the way" Angel's eyes pleaded for answers.  
  
Buffy looked at their surroundings and knew his broken heart was telling her he wanted to join her. Reluctantly, she pulled away from his arms and turned to face him  
  
"Angel, please believe me, It's not meant to be here. You must never give up, Someday I'll find you." Buffy knew she had to convince her lover that no matter where she was, his future was on earth. No matter how hard it was, that's where he had to stay.  
  
Angel lifted her chin and then brought his lips to her mouth"  
  
" I hurt so much" he whispered as his lips brushed hers.  
  
" So do I "  
  
" I love you" Angel kissed her mouth tenderly, almost afraid to break the dream.  
  
"I love you too" Buffy pulled away knowing that their time together was   
coming to an end.  
  
Angel started to fade away.  
  
" How will I know?" his voice pleaded as the clouds swallowed him from sight.  
  
"Believe me, when you see me you will know. Just open your eyes, Angel. "  
  
Angel shot up in bed, his heart racing in his chest.  
  
** A dream? A prophecy? A wish? What did it all mean?**  
  
*******  
  
Saint Peter appeared at the front desk while Jordan was admitting the most recent arrivals. The new souls stood patiently waiting to sign the register and once completed, they were led off to start their new lives in heaven. As the last soul left, Saint Peter turned his attention to a more pressing matter.  
  
" Where's the girl?"  
  
Jordan carefully closed the book and stored it safely under the desk.  
  
" Same place as always, she sits at the top of the golden stairway watching the newcomers. She reaches out to him in her dreams, I think she waits for him" Jordan replied sadly.  
  
" Does she know that if he takes his own life he can never enter heaven this way, he will automatically be reincarnated, The rules are very clear about that." Saint Peter asked with real concern.  
  
Jordan nodded.  
  
  
" I tried to tell her, but I think she no longer cares. She has refused to   
look at any more bodies, she won't consider reincarnation and I still can't persuade her to sign to register, she won't enter heaven. Buffy no longer trusts us to help her.  
  
"Well, I had better speak to her, clear this mess up once and for all. A mistake like this can never be allowed to happen again. *HE* has made that very clear." Saint Peter walked out of the gates and made his way towards the stairway.  
  
  
  
Buffy sat watching the top stair continually rollover and then disappear   
into nothingness. The thought of trying to run down the rising stairway had crossed her mind on more then one occasion, but in all honesty, even if she could get to the bottom, where would she go? The though of being a ghost didn't hold any real joy.  
  
** Hey! Maybe I could room with phantom Dennis** she thought bitterly.  
  
"So, Buffy. What do you intend to do, just sit out here on the celestial   
doorstep for the rest of eternity? " Saint Peter's voice broke through her melancholic thoughts.  
  
Buffy didn't answer; she had nothing new to say. By now, they all knew her feelings on the matter and it was still up to them to make it right.  
  
" I have some news for you, the higher power has become aware of this case and is far from pleased. He has decided on a quite remarkable compromise." Saint Peter's gentle face smiled at the girl  
  
Buffy finally looked up; her dull hazel eyes no longer held the light of   
hope. Like Angel, that had been lost over the time they had been kept   
apart.  
  
" Unless you can turn back time we have been over this a thousand times. Angel said *No body on earth* remember?" Buffy turned her head back toward the stairs  
  
" Buffy, on Earth almost a year has passed since your death, we are not allowed to change a year of Earth's history even if we wanted too. Only once before did we allow a day to be taken away and it was a big mistake, you wouldn't believe the amount of paperwork it created. Babies had to be reborn, souls had to be recollected, it was a nightmare. Anyway, as a result of this day, new legislation was issued from the highest level. *He* made it very clear that the changing of time must never happen again. So as I said, we cannot change Earth's history as you know it but we do have a suggestion, a very strange one at that. Come with me " Saint Peter held out his hand  
  
Buffy slowly got to her feet. She looked hesitant at first, after the Faith   
disaster Buffy was no longer sure if she wanted to go anywhere with these people. But what choice did she have? On that thought she reluctantly accepted the hand on offer.  
  
*****  
  
" That's me.....That's not me" Buffy was totally confused as she watched the scene in front of her unfold.  
  
" This is not real, what is it, some kind of sick joke?" she demanded   
angrily as Xander embedded a crossbow bolt deep in to Angel's chest, the vampire cried out Buffy's name as he exploded in to dust.  
  
"It's not a dream Buffy, but you are right, it's not from your world. This   
world was created by Cordelia Chase and Anyanka. The young girl you're watching is Buffy Anne Summers, or whom you would have evolved into if circumstances in your life had been different. Genetically you are identical in every way; her body is the same as your body, only slightly younger." Saint Peter explained very carefully so that the slayer would fully understand what she was witnessing  
  
Buffy was speechless; she watched as her identical twin staked a vampire version of Xander without a second thought.  
  
" She looks so cold, she feels nothing" Buffy couldn't believe how the   
other Buffy had walked so calmly through Angel's ashes. She raised her hand to her mouth and unconsciously traced the other girl's thin scar across her own lips.  
  
" We have special authorisation from the highest level to lift this body   
and bring it forth into your world. It's not something we do in normal   
circumstances, but these are hardly normal circumstances, are they?  
  
" You mean this Buffy dies" Buffy whispered still not quite believing her   
eyes as vamp Willow was executed by Oz and Larry. Something then triggered a memory; this Willow was the doppelganger that had returned to Sunnydale all those years ago. **So that's what had happened to her** Buffy felt slight saddened by her death knowing she had played a small part in it.  
  
" Yes, I'm afraid she does. Because this wish was cancelled it never   
actually affected your world, apart from the small slip with Willow. We can remove this body and history will stay the same. There will be some problems of course, you turning up out of the blue so to speak, but we can cope with them. Buffy, you have to decide quickly, as soon as the soul leaves the body we will do the transference and get you out of there. This is your last chance"  
  
Buffy turned her attention towards the Master and shivered. She watched how in this other world he grabbed her double by the shoulders and pulled her back to him. He then raised his hands to her head and snapped..  
  
" It's now or never" Saint Peter issued the final warning.  
  
******  
  
Buffy's eyes flickered as she adjusted to the change in light. She found herself back on Earth, breathing fresh sea air, she felt the warm sun on her bare skin and heard the noise of birds in the blue sky above. Buffy was home, this time she really was home.  
  
She slowly raised her hands and marvelled at the feel of live flesh, her   
own live flesh. Every blood cell, every nerve ending connected with her   
soul, becoming one again. This was not like before with Faith, no, that had a foreign feel to it, like looking through a window. This was no window she was looking through, this was real.  
  
" Are you happy?"  
  
Buffy looked up and saw the archangel.  
  
" I think I finally can be" she nodded at the realisation that her future   
was now back on course and she could once again be with Angel.  
  
" We aim to please, especially when we made such a bad mistake in the first place" Jordan grinned. He too was relieved that everything had worked out as well as could be hoped for.  
  
" I just hope Angel accepts all this. Do you think he will know me? " A   
small doubt crept into Buffy's head. Would she believe it if Angel had   
suddenly come back from the dead? The answer then made her smile. ** Of course she would, after all, he once did just that.**  
  
" The two of you have a very long, and very happy life left to live. I got   
that from the highest authority" Jordan grinned again.  
  
" I guess I better go find Angel" Buffy closed her eyes and reached out for him.  
  
"Wait! There's one more thing that has to be put right" Jordan looked   
towards the heavens and then smiled back at the Slayer.  
  
**Once this mistake has been rectified, things will be as they were once meant to be** Buffy heard the words of Saint Peter clearly in her head. Her eyes opened in wonder as she placed her hand gently on her stomach; once more she felt the presence of her unborn child.  
  
Looking back, she wasn't at all surprised to find the archangel had   
vanished.  
  
Buffy raised her eyes to the sky and whispered a heartfelt *thank you*, then set off to find her love.  
  
*****  
  
Angel stood on the hilltop over looking the sea, in exactly the same spot as a year earlier. His mind was lost deep in thought as his eyes gazed out over the waves. All morning he had been receiving phone calls from friends, each full of concern that he wasn't spending the day alone. Cordelia had been the most insistent, she had argued for over an hour that he should be with friends that day. Even though she was now eight months pregnant she was quite prepared to just stand and hold his hand. Angel had thanked her but made it perfectly clear that today of all days he should be allowed to be alone with his memories, today he was finally going to say goodbye.  
  
Angel watched as the waves crashed in the distance, he slowly raised the single red rose to his lips and softly kissed the petals.  
  
" Goodbye, Buffy" he whispered as he dropped the rose into the sea below.  
  
He then felt a strange, and yet very familiar, tingle travel the length of   
his spine, it caused all the small hairs on the back of his neck to stand   
on end. His heartbeat increased and for a second Angel forgot how to breathe. Squeezing his eyes closed he allowed the feeling to wash over him.  
  
**Believe me, when you see me you will know. Just open your eyes, Angel** the words from his dream swam inside his head.  
  
Angel turned slowly; he was almost afraid to face the disappointment that he knew had to be there. Everything in his heart and soul screamed Buffy.  
  
He opened his eyes and watched in wonder as the love of his life slowly walked towards him, a slight smile turning the corners of her mouth.  
  
" Hello, Angel, I've come home"  
  
The End.  
  
  



End file.
